We’ve all heard of baby makin’ music – whether it’s the sultry, mellifluous flow of Usher singing “Nice and Slow,” or (since this is an electronic music blog) the steady, climax-building beat of Swedish House Mafia’s “Greyhound”; but what about babies makin’ music?
I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “I saw this 4-year-old, Chinese boy ripping through Mozart on Oprah,” or “Did you not see Bieber’s ‘Never Say Never’? He was killing it on drums in a diaper!” You got me. We’ve probably all seen babies making music. And not to downplay the remarkable talent of these precocious musicians, but child pianists, violinists, drummers, and guitarists have all been done.
Electronic on the other hand is unexplored territory for these diaper nuggets. With a hefty musical resume, Natalie Elizabeth Weiss is branching out from her Brooklyn Philharmonic composer- and LCD Soundsystem DJ-days to tap into a potential gold mine: Baby DJ School. For $200 you can now enroll your little tater tot, newborn to age 3, into an eight-week course of “creating and mixing electronic music” according to the New York Post.
Evident from the slew of condom and Plan B commercials I get when watching DJ sets on YouTube, and the question, “Where can I buy condoms?” in Creamfield’s FAQs, I’d say our generation will see an increase in “rave babies.” Foreseeing a future trend in newborns fist-pumping and bopping their shoulders out of the womb, Weiss might be onto something. Parents want the best for their children, and it’s pretty unequivocal: EDM is the best.
I’m not a parent yet, but I’d be all up for having my little bugger spinning records and dropping beats with his or her sausage arms. Ok, that might be too optimistic…more like spitting up on records and dropping mad deuces on turntables. But I think the $200 some moms spend to dress their child in Juicy Couture and Burberry may be worth the chance to snag 9-year-old DJ BabyChino’s title of “World’s Youngest DJ” and to be obliged to attend heaps of shows.
I wouldn’t expect your child graduate from Baby DJ School with a remote chance of competing with Armin Van Buuren’s son, Remy, in the future (did y’all see the Tomorrowland set Armin dedicated to his son? A real tearjerker. We normal people and our children don’t stand a chance), but maybe we can shoot for Remy’s opener and improved motor skills.
Parents and future parents, whether you think Baby DJ School is ridiculous or the best thing since sliced bread, EDM is changing the world you and your munchkins live in. Embrace music, dance freely, and think twice before naming your little girl Molly.
Let us know in the comments what you think of this new fad, and whether you’d ever enroll your child in a DJ baby school!